Trampoline Face

Tyler here, hi-jacking the family blog. Ahhh, just like old times. I feel like the newly crowned high school sophomore, re-entering the halls of the Jr. High and thinking "wow, these kids are tiny", like I'd grown 9" in 3 months, octupled my testosterone level, and grew a full beard. Anyhow, glad to be back...albeit briefly.

Sherri and I discovered a fascinating natural scientific phenomenon a few days ago that we plan on submitting to the World Science Foundation or possibly Nobel. The phenomenon is the affect that gravity has on facial tissue at the lowest possible point of a gnarly trampoline bounce. Imagine the massive strength of the earth's gravitational pull holding onto your jowels like a vice grip as your body hurls upward with incredible force. The effect, known as "Facies Tripudium" or "Trampoline Face" causes the subject to appear to age 80 years or, in some cases, take on physical characteristics of mild retardation.

We present to you Test Subject 1A at the height of his bounce, showing hardly any signs of facial abnormality, excluding teeth of course:



And now Test Subject 1A at the lowest point of his bounce, just as the trampoline springs tighten and the fabric begins to hurl him upward. Note the obvious distortion of facial tissue and possible muscle atrophy:



Test Subject 1A is being constantly monitored for evidence of further, unanticipated effects from the battery of tests. At this point we cannot rule out aggression, laziness, attitude, or hypersensitivity as possible side effects. Inversely, Test Subject 1A could also experience extreme and heightened intelligence, politeness, stunning attractiveness, and general studliness.

We are in the process of planning similar studies with other test subjects. We will keep you informed of our findings. We will also notify everyone when our thesis is published in World Science Weekly and will start another blog documenting our journey to the Nobel Prize, entitled "Going to the Show: Our Journey to the Big House."

1...2...54...DEAD!

I love my mom! January 18th she celebrated her 64th birthday. She was at my home a few days before her big day and we were talking about how old she was turning etc. etc., when Eric suddenly turns around in his chair (he was sitting at the counter, we were sitting at the table) and with horror on his face asks my mom, "are you going to be dead?". I asked Eric what he was talking about and he replies, "you know you turn 1, 2, 54...dead". My mom and I got the giggles and so did Eric. I love that my mom has a sense of humor.

There are a lot of reasons I love my mother, and in honor of her not being 54...and dead, I'd like to list a few of them.

1. I love that my mom will try a home-made luge running from off of Maurie and Kyle's deck in the back yard. (See above picture) Try as she may, she just couldn't make that curve, but she kept on trying!
2. I love that everywhere we go together, she inevitably runs into a 1st, 2nd or 3rd cousin. Somehow, this same genetic trait is being passed on to me...go figure!
3. I love that my mom finally found the courage to cut off her "bun" that she wore for more that 30 years, and try a new sassy hair-do.
4. I love the quirky way my mom says the words; pleasure (play-sure), treasure (tray-sure) and measure (may-sure).
5. I love that my mom sometimes wears purple socks with a green shirt, or pink and yellow polka-dot socks with a orange shirt.....ha!
6. I am thankful that my mom is quick to forgive.
7. I love the way my mom loves my kids. I also love that she lives 3 minutes away from me and can Grandma-sit my kids for me!
8. I love that my mom can strike up a conversation with anyone and is a friend to everyone. Even the homeless Good family (their real last name) whom she picked up from the side of the road and took to a shelter, and then invited to our house several times to have dinner and the missionary discussions...another blog post entirely!
9. I love that she supported and loved my dad until he passed away.
10. I love that she demonstrates her testimony of the the gospel through her actions and example.

I love you mom! Thanks for not only birthing and nuturing me, but for loving me unconditionally the past 31 years! I hope you had a great birthday!

E is for Eric

I love a structured day. Life without some sort of schedule wreaks havoc in my world. When Talmage started 1st grade this year, and started bringing home "real" homework, we had to introduce homework time as part of our scheduled day. So, as soon as Talmage gets home from school, he and Eric enjoy a snack, and then we dive right in for our 15 minutes of homework. While Talmage does his assigned homework, Eric works on the classic preschool criteria of puzzles, tracing letters, and coloring.

Earlier this week, as I stepped away from the homework table, I heard my little darlings quarreling as to whether Eric could really write (or even recognize) the letter 'E'. Talmage was conviced that he was calling Eric on his bluff, and produced paper and pencil for him to write it down to prove it. I was elated as my little genius, without pause, confidently scribbled out a very legible letter 'E'. My inner voiced cheered, "my child is brilliant!!"

My very brilliant child lost his Einstein status two days later as I was walking down the hallway in our house. I happened to come across Eric's new skill with penmanship on the wall. What do you do when your child takes a marker and cleverly display's his talent for all to see in your home? You very sternly tell him (in your best super nanny voice) that this is "unacceptable behavior" and he'll need to have a time out.......just as soon as you have finished taking several "I'm in trouble" pictures next to his art work. The time out was soon forgotten after a hilarious photo session, a very heart felt, "I'm sorry mommy", and help from Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser.

Eric is one I have to watch. He pretty much does the opposite of what you tell him to do, and recently has figured out that being "naughty" is kind of fun.

Last Friday, I was continuing down the road to domestic excellence by attempting to make strawberry freezer jam. I was just starting to bring the pectin to boiling when I realized the house was eerily quiet and I hadn't seen Eric in awhile.

After a quick walk through of the house, I had an inkling to look outside. When I looked out the front window I found him, buck naked, on the front lawn, showing his goodies for the world to see.

I quickly ran out front and asked him what he was doing. His reply, "Mom, I can't find my batman suit!" My reply, "Well buddy, I'm pretty sure it's not out here."

This was another one of those moments when I couldn't help but laugh at the free spirited qualities of my little exhibitionist. Come on, don't we all have those moments when we want to strip our clothes off and go streaking down our neighborhoods? What!!?? You don't...oh..., yeah..., me neither, I was just totally kidding!! Ha, ha, ha!!

Eric, just remember that I will always be watching you!!

Talmage and His Wonder Tooth

I like teeth. I like people's smiles. That's why I went into dentistry when I was deciding what I wanted to do with my life. I became a dental assistant and enrolled in school to start on my way to become a dental hygienist. Like so many others who want to become part of the dental heirarchy, I got married, put my school on hold, and promised myself that some day I'd go back and get my degree. 13 years later I still think that maybe one day I'll go back to school and fulfill my dream of probing and cleaning teeth, but for now I remain on the bottom of the dentistry totem pole.

Imagine my excitement when my eldest son had his first loose tooth last year. I KNEW that all my training would some day come in handy, (especially since Tyler can't even be in the same room as a loose tooth without cringing) and my moment had arrived. My patient, Talmage, was not the willing participant that I had hoped he'd be. After mild coaxing he let me pull his tooth.....this scarred him for life.

The little pain associated with the removal of a tooth has left Talmage afraid to lose more teeth. The past few months Talmage's two front teeth have decided that they want to meet their maker, or go to that "happy place" the Tooth Fairy takes them when they decide to make their voyage. With that said, we could not look, talk about, or joke about the loss of Talmage's two front teeth without a complete come-apart.

As his teeth became more "wiggly", one of them even started to descend about 4 mm from where it used to be. I could not imagine what was possibly still holding this tooth in his mouth, or how he did not accidentally sneeze the little bugger out. It was like a bad movie when you watch someone be mutilated, maimed by an animal, or blown up, and they still don't die. This tooth would not fall out, and it literally could have fallen right out.


One night as I was "checking" the brushing job Talmage had done on his teeth, I noticed that as I brushed this one particular tooth it actually turned sideways. That was the final straw! I was done milking this tooth along. It needed to come out, and it was coming out NOW!

I told Tyler to come upstairs and hold Talmage while I removed this eyesore from his mouth. (Props go out to Tyler for not passing out!) Before Talmage even had a chance to object, I stood victorious, with tooth in hand.

After it was over he stated that he "didn't even feel it!" It might be that he felt nothing because the tooth was hanging on by the smallest tissue possible, I like to believe he felt nothing because I am just that good at what I do!









And what about the wonder tooth's next door neighbor?.....

Tyler took care of that one with an errant bounce pass that connected flush with Talmage's face playing basketball! (And Tyler says he can't take out loose teeth.....I give him 10 points for creativity!)

Grandma Riley's Traveling Wig

My mom wanted to create a fun memory for her grandkids when they came to her house. She went to the dollar store, (and other various places) and put together a box of eclectic toys that they can choose from and take home every time they go to grandma's house. A winner of a toy was discovered when she placed this bandana "wig thing" in the box and one of Holly's kids picked it as their prize! After laughing at this wig, and trying it on various people, we put it on Maidie and snapped a picture.

This last weekend we went to St. George to visit and stay with the Gunnell clan. While on one of our excursions we had to stop at the local K-Mart. Tyler ran in to purchase a swim suit, while the rest of us waited in our cars. As me and my possee were hanging out in my car, up pulls Brian next to me....with the wig on. We had another good laugh, and took another picture.

Later that day Holly and I came up with this idea to have everyone in the family take a picture with "the wig" on. Holly is next sending it on to the Chicago Crowther's who we hope will keep the flame alive and snap their family in Grandma Riley's traveling wig.